Ahh, terrible anime music. It’s not really an area I get to dive in as often as I’d like. Though I may search far and wide, only a handful of anime soundtracks would qualify as being truly bad. Either I’ve been too lenient with my judging criteria or there just aren’t really many genuinely bad soundtracks around. I guess that when producers or directors bring a composer on board, there’s a minimum level of competency that the composer must have, and that bar prevents the truly horrendous stuff from really surfacing. So maybe I need to be a bit harsher on the uncreative stuff like K-ON!’s soundtrack just so that I can make full use of the review spectrum. It’d probably be difficult to find soundtracks that toddlers with pots and pans could exceed anyhow.
With J-pop, it’s a different story and you don’t have to look far to find some screechfest that’s really difficult to tolerate all around. But those just end up being easy pickings and aren’t really all that fun to listen to. The gems would be the pieces that transcend badness to the point that they become unforgettable.
So in what I hope will become a recurring trend, April 1st will be reserved for the terribad. I sort of did it last year when I featured Kaere’s character song “Buta no Gohan” but that was a lame attempt at some April Fools humor. This year, I’m just going to skip the pranking and go straight on in to highlight three of the worst pieces of anime music I’ve listened to over the past year and ramble a bit. Like with my notice for the relevant MALKeionbu thread though, I’ll try to make it laughably bad.
Akikan – Koisora Recycling
I think I’m doomed towards liking this song in spite of its off-tune vocals and buttloads of engrish. Part of it is because I don’t think that Nomiko is really trying to sing well here and that she knows the show she’s singing for is one big joke anyhow and another part of it is because this reminds me of her work on Renkin 3-kyu Magical? Pokan’s ED, which was also silly, but memorable because of it. If nothing else, the nonsensical lyrics here fit in well with the show’s scatterbrained approach (at least, the portions of it that I did watch) and it’s good for both groans and laughter, especially if you’re like me and use it to troll friends.
Maria†Holic – Fufufu
This song is highly context-dependent. That is, you do need to get a feel for Kanako Miyamae’s perversions to really “get it” otherwise it’s just bad and you won’t really get your fill of entertainment value out of this piece. For those who don’t know, Kanako is a lesbian (might even be a fake lesbian; I’ll leave that to you to decide) prone to disturbing (hilarious even) fantasies. Needless to say, this ditty works because of the way Asami Sanada vocalizes Kanako’s lecherous thoughts, delivering in a manner that’s downright creepy. It still is funny though, but I will say this: if music is the window to the soul, I sure as hell don’t want to dig further into Kanako’s.
Lucky Star – Motteke! Sailor Fuku
Nononono, the original one is actually fine. Not great, but not terrible either. The one that I had in mind was Minoru Shiraishi’s rendition of the song and he takes on the role of the clown good-naturedly and belts out a fun, but abysmal performance. The closest comparison that I can make to Lucky Star ED feat. Shiraishi would be William Hung’s infamous performance of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs,” except that Shiraishi is nowhere as bad and is smart enough to know that it’s all played up for laughs (whether it’s actually funny is something I’ll leave up to you). As taka points out later in the thread in which I nominated this piece, the Shiraishi medley is objectively worse. That is true, but I do think that this performance is just slightly more fun to listen to. Well, relatively anyhow.
Also, if you hear some infernal screaming, that would be Sorrow-kun. I take him at his word when he reviewed Lucky Star and voiced a strong distaste for this recurring gag :p
The above is my favorite bad track of the now. It’s more fun if you listen to the lyrics and try to comprehend what’s going on. Sort of like the “noodle incident” from Calvin and Hobbes in that it’s funnier when you let your imagination loose. I personally don’t know even 25% of what the singer is saying, but the picture I have in my mind is downright hilarious.
And yes, this post sprang from me being too lazy to finish writing a soundtrack review that’s been on my plate for quite some time now.
Bitmapchaos throws in his two cents. Provides an even worse version of “Koisora Recycling.” Edited in under Akikan ED8. You have been warned.